he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
