i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
