Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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