Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
