he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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