At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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