I want to stick my p in your. b.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
