for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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