You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
