i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
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