Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
