we're blogging at a bar
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
