Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Randomize
