I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
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