You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize