dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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