so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
