My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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