I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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