the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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