she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
The power of my boobs compel you
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
