Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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