Who did Billy Mays play for?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
