I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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