I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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