That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Randomize
