**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
