and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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