no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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