no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I have demons in me.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
