so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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