if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
