Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I got inside last night via doggy door
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
