I bet he comes in French.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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