OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
