If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
