I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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