It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
