Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
