im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
