Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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