On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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