did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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