dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I think I am morally bankrupt
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Randomize
