come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
