any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I need to wash the frat house off of me
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
