i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
