We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
The chlamydia really affected his face.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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