i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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