I am spending my child support on dildos
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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