coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
