Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
