i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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