she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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