I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
