my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
