And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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