I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize