I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize