He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize