That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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