i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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