And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Randomize
