just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
