I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
