Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
