After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
